Journal - April 23, 2006

APRIL 23 2006
...
I am ready to interview some couples as a test – at least – for my project. I’d like to start with a hetero couple with a traditional wedding, ideally a big affair, and a complicated family. From there on it would be great to get every kind of iteration: simple weddings, simple families, gay couples, and so on. Perhaps I should actually start with less of a prize couple just as a test. I imagine I would like to have the logistics be standard so that I can leave myself more options for splicing and interchanging the families. I will shoot them standing up, as it might be a little more uncomfortable, or at least discomfort will be more easier to see on film and with the groom consistently on one side and the bride on the other. It can be in or out of doors, I think, though it might be best if it’s in a space that relates to the wedding: the room where all the planning materials are located, the chapel, the reception hall, etc…

Is it still about wedding seating? Part of me thinks: why not? It is a great starting point and one that can be talked about in the most practical and efficient of ways. At least I think so. What I need to figure out is the questions to ask, where I want the questions to go, ideally what I hope to get out. I think it might be good to try a few questions out in very loose conversation style with a friend who has a low-pressure situation and doesn’t mind rambling along with me.

Have you given much thought yet to the seating arrangements for the reception?
Have you begun/finished planning yet?
Was it a simple or difficult task?
Are both of your parents married?
Where will they sit in relation to you and each other?
Are they in new relationships?
Will their current partners attend the wedding?
Do you have siblings?
Will they bring guests?
Will they sit together?
Are there family members who you’ve specifically seated apart from one another?
Did you have to talk with those parties about this specifically?
Who will be sitting at the head table and how did you make that decision?
If you have a sweetheart table why did you decide on that option?
How many bridesmaids/groomsmen will you have?
Do they each have guests?
Will they all be sitting together?
How did you determine where they would each sit?
Did any parties make special requests about the reception seating?
Did their requests run counter to what you would have done otherwise?
Was it difficult to accommodate their requests?
Have either of you invited people with whom you were previously involved?
With whom will they be sitting?
Were there many situations in which the two of you disagreed on a seating arrangement?
Did the situation involve family or friends?

And so on. I don’t think this actually be that hard, as it seems like I’ll be able to pick up on a strain and run with it. I do however like this very formal way of asking questions and think that asking strangers might be a great way for this formality to persevere naturally. I think the discomfort of trying to address emotional topics in a formal manner would be really interesting too. It’s as though we’re all pretending that we’re not really talking about emotion or family, or jealously or conflict. We’re just politely asking/answering some formal questions on some logistical issues. I’m into it. Keep the guard up and encourage the interviewee to keep their guard up – not because I might violate their trust but because to go beyond the somewhat simple questions I’m asking would perhaps be crass, or distasteful, to address emotion and feeling when we are “so obviously” specifically not addressing that.

OK. More later.